A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

I fantasize about having sex with a moose

womens rights

A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

The truth is he loves her!!

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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