When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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