Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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