Men

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Continents are large islands.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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