Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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well now

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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