why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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