What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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