Swag.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops