Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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