A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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it's funny because it's funny

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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