Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops