Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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