there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

thumb_up thumb_down -3

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops