this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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Why was the black guy so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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