why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops