whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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The queen having a shit

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops