I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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