What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Fine, ladies first.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops