Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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