How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops