What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Fine, ladies first.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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