How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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hey hey apple

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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no

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops