- Anti Joke

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops