Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Why is this joke funny It isn't

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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