A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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