Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Caroline Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why so serious? Your brother died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Waseem is a hard worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops