where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

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This is a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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