What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops