A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops