Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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"It's a blimp, it's a hot air balloon!" "No wait, it's your mom."

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Your mom is so nice.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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