One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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Men

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops