Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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b

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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call me maybe.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops