Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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