Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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derp

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Okay.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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