There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops