A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

what's purple and plastic purple plastic

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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