What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

If you have a stroke, call 000

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

Jamie Oliver eats a chip

"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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