What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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WILLYS

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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who's a slut... you're mom

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops