A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops