What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

#IsaiahAfterAD&B

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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