what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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24

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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Once upon a time

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops