I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Tall asians

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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Lewis

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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