This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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hi mom

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snowglobe

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Rylan Clark

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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