what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down -11

q ggggggggggggggggg

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's city is in New York New York City

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops