How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...