what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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Why was the black man pulled over? Racism still lingers in today's society.

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Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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