Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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