How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

The lion swallowed his pride.

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

What do you call a fat priest? Obese

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

Pickles

You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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