Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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I need to start studying.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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