Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

Mitt Romney

What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

whats up and also down? your mum

I need to start studying.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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