What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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woman's rights

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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