Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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