What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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