If you were a pie I'd eat you

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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