Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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