If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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