Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You idiot thats 9 letters

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Charlotte Bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +12

THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

thumb_up thumb_down +12

mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops